Disclaimer : Any resemblance to any person dead / alive
is Surely Intentional....
Scene : Blind Date between a guy and a gal who have
been chatting/talking since last few months now.
They haven't yet seen each other so far and have
finally decided to meet each other for a Date.
Actors : Guy and Gal and Poor Chauffeur ( PC )..
Guy : (To himself)
".. is bandi se main pichhley 3 mahino se
baat ker raha hoon... baat-cheet se to
theek lagti hai..
(now tht's a rarity)...
Bus Bhagwaan, thoda achchi si dikhney
waali honi chahiye..
Flashback :-
This Guy had been making all efforts to make himself
look as Presentable as humanly possible. He had joined
the best Gym in the city and had been hitting it regularly.
He now gets his hair styled by the best stylist in the city.
On top of this, he had bought a branded attire from one of
the biggest fashion houses in the city.
The icing on the cake is the Chauffeur driven car
he had rented for the D Day...
This Guy.. otherwise quite balanced and wise in his
decisions, has lately been literally blown over by the
enchanting voice of this Gal.
It all had started when this gal visited this guy's profile
on one of the most popular social netwrking site.
Intrigued by a gal's visit his profile, the guy himself
paid a visit to her profile.
The interaction went from Elementary School to
Junior High status when they started chatting and
eventually graduated when they started clinging
to their respective mobiles for hours at stretch.
General talks gave way to flirting..and then came a
point when they were talking the whole night over a
single call. (u all wud be astonished to know that
during that particular month, even the CEO of their
mobile service provider was personally tracking their
calls, given the high revenues that these calls were
generating..)
And then, they decided to meet...
Cut - to Present :
Guy gets into his flashy attire, sprays his costly
perfume and offers his prayers to God
(again... a rarity..)
" Hmmm.. Bhagwaan, sab sahi jaa raha hai
abhi tak.... bus ye bandi achchi si nikle..
main prasad chadhaunga mandir main... "
Although a bit skeptical about his fate, he still
feels that the good deeds done by him so far in
life are going to make sure that this gal turn
out to be the 'damsel of his dreams'....
This poor chauffeur (PC), a middle aged Bihari ,
nonchalantly waits with his car, blissfully unaware
of what he is going to witness in the coming hours.
PC : Kahan chalna hai babuji...?
(Where are we going Sir)
Guy : Wo Civil Lines wala Club na.. wahan chalna hai...
(That Club in Civil Lines, there we are supposed to reach)
PC : Uskey baad kahan chalna hai..?
(Thereafter where would we be going..)
Guy : Arey, pehley F-Bar chalo.. abhi se hi poorey
din ka details chahiye kya..!!
(First take me to F-Bar...Do you want the complete
day's itinerary or what..)
sensuous Lounge in the city. And when the car
stopped in front of its entrance, man.. ,
the guy's heart beatings were sounding almost
like canons firing in a rhythmic fashion.
After all, this was a Blind Date.. and just like
anything can happen in a Cricket match, this date
could either become a memorable, romantic
encounter of two love-struck individuals..
or (err...) could turn out to be one of the
scariest nightmare of all times...
the guy enters the Lounge..
And suddenly, Earth stopped to revolved and Clocks
forgot to Tick.. the guy's heart skipped a beat .. and
the guy turned into a Zombie..
For what (i cannot say even say 'who') was standing in
front of him was Zillion light yrs far from something
(again, i cannot even say 'somebody') beautiful...
To start with, she seemed gluttony personified ...
her assets (both which should have been highlighted
and which should have been wrapped ) were literally
bulging out and had crossed the 'fit' limits by at least
few yards...
The dressing sense was a disaster and resembled
'Kahin ki Eent, Kahin ka Rora..
Bhanumati ne Kunba Joda'
(an indian version defining a bad bad 'Pandora's Box')
"who could wear a Saree , and that too an Orange one
to a Lounge.. yaaackkkk..."
Coming onto the makeup, hmmm, it could have given a
small toddler very tight competition for the most
horrendous usage of lipstick and rouge..
Nowhere to run, Nowhere to Hide..
The Guy took this blind date , in his Stride..
With No Gods around, Just thyself as Guide..
'I will play a decent date', he finally did decide..
- K_J
What orchestrated in the next couple of hours,
calls for 'few more blog posts' to say the least..
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